George Downes: The misery, the exquisite tragedy. The Susan Hayward of it all. I can just picture you there, sitting alone at your table in your lavender gown.

Julianne Potter: Did I tell you my gown was lavender?

George Downes: Hair swept up. Haven’t touched your cake. Probably drumming your fingernails on the white linen tablecloth, the way you do when you’re really feeling down. Perhaps looking at those nails thinking: ‘God, I should have stopped in all my evil plotting to have that manicure, but it’s too late now.

Julianne Potter: George, I didn’t tell you my dress was lavender.

George Downes: Suddenly, a familiar song. And, you’re off your chair in one, exquisite movement… wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a dapple deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cinderella dance again? And then, suddenly, the crowds part and there he is: sleek, stylish… radiant with charisma. Bizarrely, he’s on the telephone. But then, so are you. And then he comes towards you… the moves of a jungle cat. Although you quite correctly sense that he is… gay… like most devastatingly handsome single men of his age are, you think… what the hell. Life goes on. Maybe there won’t be marriage… maybe there won’t be sex… but, by God, there’ll be dancing.


some birthday love <3

Happy 50th to my beautiful step-mom who doesn’t look a day over 35 😉  I am so lucky to have you in my life- You have such a great energy, smile, and strength about you, and I thank you for your constant support and guidance through so many of life’s moments.  I love you Kath!

unnamed111PS- concerning your new metaphor for life- Thursday is the new Tuesday.  You have plenty of time to live it up and act like you are 25.  Don’t forget it 🙂


Two Kinds of Travelers..

There are two kinds of travelers. There is the kind who goes to see what there is to see and sees it, and the kind who has an image in his head and goes out to accomplish it. The first visitor has an easier time, but I think the second visitor sees more. He is constantly comparing what he sees to what he wants, so he sees with his mind, and maybe even his heart, or tries to. If his peripheral vision gets diminished- so that he quite literally sometimes can’t see what is coming at him from the suburbs of the place he looks at- his struggle to adjust the country he looks at to the country he has inside him at least keeps him looking. It sometimes blurs, and sometimes sharpens, his eye.

My head was filled with pictures of Paris, mostly black and white, and I wanted to be in them.

Paris to the Moon, by: Adam Gopnik

Au Revoir, New York…..Je t’aime <3

We didn’t think we’d leave New York so soon. It’s been a year, and last week we packed our things and drove away for the last time as tax-paying, apartment-renting Manhattan residents.

The truth is, New York is a dream for a lot of people. It’s iconic, full of creativity, pride, and an unwavering sense of independence. It’s also hard, rough around its edges and full of people just trying to survive, along with others who are trying hard to make something happen for themselves in one of the most over-populated and most driven cities in the world.

I’m not sure where I fall in between those categories- i suppose its somewhere in the middle of them both. There is a huge part of me that felt a distinct hope that maybe we’d find what we were looking for here. We left, ultimately, because although we found bits and pieces of ourselves, there was an even bigger part of us that couldn’t do it anymore. Surviving here became too difficult, and the reality of the adventure became bigger than the adventure itself. In the end, we felt our time in New York was quickly approaching its expiration date, and we needed to figure out our next move.

Justin headed home last week to work remotely through July until he finishes up with his time at NBC. I’ve been crashing at my aunt’s place in Beacon, NY since Monday so i can work in the city through the end of July, as well. I’m so lucky to have her willing and happy to take me in, especially because I understand first-hand what it’s like to have an extended guest stay at your place. And no matter who it is, a month is a long time. Bless her little heart (ha)- I don’t know how I could have done it without her. (And I mean that in the most genuine, non-demeaning sense of the phrase). 🙂

I took the commuter rail in for the first time on Monday into Grand Central. Since I was early, I took the subway up to my old stop on 86th so I could pick up a prescription refill at CVS before heading back downtown toward Brooklyn Bridge. It was surreal walking out onto the street and passing the buildings and places that I have passed so many times before. I couldn’t help but feel lost, even though I knew exactly where I was headed. It hit me hard that I didn’t live here anymore, and because of this, I didn’t really belong here anymore either.

There was always a certain sense of pride I felt whenever I told someone that New York City was my home. But in that moment, I realized that the Upper East Side was nothing more than just another place I used to live. This realization made my stomach tense up, my heart beat a little faster, and I tried hard to resist the lump forming in the back of my throat. Change is hard, and I’d be lying if I said I had a grip on any of it. I don’t think that kind of understanding about your choices in life comes until many years later- I will miss this place.

So what’s next? Big changes. Justin just accepted a new job working for a company in Massachusetts, and I have accepted a year-long position in Annecy, France, where I will be a live-in Au Pair for a family of five. I’m thrilled for the opportunity to become immersed in a language and a culture that I’ve spent my whole life dreaming about. I’m also scared shit-less about moving to a foreign country by myself, having to re-adjust to normalcy, and most of all, leaving the person I love for a whole 11 whole months. It’s not going to be an easy year, but I hope that in the end, I will look back and be able to say confidently that it was a risk worth taking. As for now, I’m gonna cling a little tighter to who and what I love here, and hope that the next couple of months pass a little slower than usual.

Packing Out….

Manhattan, its been real. And by real I mean you stole all my money, brought out my inner biotch, made me a more confident driver, and gave me an appreciation for dishwashers. You are completely insane, frustrating, overwhelming, and also one of the best experiences of my life. I will miss you. 6.30.14